Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
