My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
