I could make wine with my vomit
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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