We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up