Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
