So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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