i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.