I wish you could order shots online.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.