I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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