Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall http://tfl.nu/8iwm
  Replies (38) Good night (22093) Bad night (2692)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten. http://tfl.nu/4lci
  Replies (15) Good night (7400) Bad night (1647)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex http://tfl.nu/zw16
  Replies (7) Good night (4787) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale??? http://tfl.nu/bzai
  Replies (6) Good night (3393) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061
  Replies (4) Good night (3541) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao
  Replies (9) Good night (3888) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/b6xp
  Replies (6) Good night (2324) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2884) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER. http://tfl.nu/mukx
  Replies (10) Good night (2405) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in? http://tfl.nu/31ig
  Replies (2) Good night (1266) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is cat milk safe for human consumption?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Is cat milk safe for human consumption? http://tfl.nu/mjye
  Replies (6) Good night (326) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should. http://tfl.nu/c9et
  Replies (1) Good night (912) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken. http://tfl.nu/miyk
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know. http://tfl.nu/6x6w
  Replies (0) Good night (282) Bad night (571)

Randomize