Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet. http://tfl.nu/z1qf
  Replies (8) Good night (3429) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My Vagina smells like Nemo again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): My Vagina smells like Nemo again. http://tfl.nu/j13v
  Replies (29) Good night (646) Bad night (5285)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a
  Replies (25) Good night (4495) Bad night (1607)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  What will that accomplish?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. (480): What will that accomplish? (602): It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. http://tfl.nu/n4ns
  Replies (23) Good night (8277) Bad night (1618)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties http://tfl.nu/ywu8
  Replies (16) Good night (5310) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo http://tfl.nu/s2q1
  Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude? (908): It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer. http://tfl.nu/qzgh
  Replies (3) Good night (2230) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu
  Replies (6) Good night (3433) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas http://tfl.nu/y10v
  Replies (3) Good night (1625) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard. http://tfl.nu/2lw3
  Replies (17) Good night (4227) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd
  Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor. http://tfl.nu/fpi2
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain. http://tfl.nu/lmb6
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can you bring me the toilet please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Can you bring me the toilet please http://tfl.nu/af5u
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (429)

Randomize