Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels

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  (810): So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800? (1-810): About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels http://tfl.nu/3nnn
  Replies (5) Good night (1284) Bad night (611)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  go do what you do best...puke behind churches

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  (305): go do what you do best...puke behind churches http://tfl.nu/kmxp
  Replies (9) Good night (1187) Bad night (625)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nice use of current day folklore

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  (952): I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur (612): Nice use of current day folklore http://tfl.nu/cnmj
  Replies (36) Good night (948) Bad night (2920)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.

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  (817): Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch. http://tfl.nu/y4b9
  Replies (20) Good night (841) Bad night (7038)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.

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  (267): You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian. http://tfl.nu/n8zg
  Replies (32) Good night (7721) Bad night (1104)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.

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  (225): she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her. http://tfl.nu/dxlc
  Replies (12) Good night (3852) Bad night (1127)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'

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  (954): They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home' http://tfl.nu/2uct
  Replies (4) Good night (2296) Bad night (823)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

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  (804): We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt. http://tfl.nu/2b1c
  Replies (7) Good night (839) Bad night (1995)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings

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  (412): I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings http://tfl.nu/tlmy
  Replies (5) Good night (1352) Bad night (1695)
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  (716): View more from New York

  There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.

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  (716): There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now. http://tfl.nu/bttm
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (1075)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

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  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (453)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?

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  (630): I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about? http://tfl.nu/f79i
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (570)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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  (289): You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed! http://tfl.nu/yyc5
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (336)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?

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  (613): is it acceptable to cross the border for sex? http://tfl.nu/mouc
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (237)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?

  (1-289): View more from Ontario

  When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.

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  (289): Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this? (1-289): When she went in the beer store I got to hold it. http://tfl.nu/fggc
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (183)

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