I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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