I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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