i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
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Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
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I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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