You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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