he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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