You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
