I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
