Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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