epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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