I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
