that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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