Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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