Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
