I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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