Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize