Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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