my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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