so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
