bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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