It's Friday. Sex?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
