The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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