Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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