how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize