nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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