left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
