your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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