I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
