Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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