How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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