Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize