she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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