if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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