Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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