i just had sex bonerless
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
