i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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