god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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