So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The struggles of a small town man whore
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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