So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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