seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
