Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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