Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
