ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
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We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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