the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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