Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
