Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
