I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
