so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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