I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
