People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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